Life changes & you have to look ahead
A few months ago, some drastic changes happened in my life. My husband and I separated on the 23rd of March 2019 and towards the end of May we got back together and another split at the end of July 2019.
My ex-husband and I sure did separate many times but that will tell you that I have given this relationship one too many tries. It’s pretty easy to ask, why would you go back?
After all that this person has done to you, why would you go back?
It makes no difference to question now an action that is in the past but rather to keep looking ahead and cultivating for a life worth the desire you have within you.
So getting back to last year, I had to find a job which was in April. I applied to be a Financial Advisor at a Wealth Management Company. The job was purely commissioned and needless to say, I didn’t start earning immediately.
Every morning I would take my son to school, go to the office, and then pick my son up from school and go home. The nanny at home was taking care of my 2-year-old son at the time. When I get back home, seeing to the kids, trying to do some work, cooking, dealing with tantrums, and constant fights between my children.
It was something I dealt with on a daily basis. I eventually sold my car to assist with bills, seeing to the daily running of the home and everything else that goes with a household & being a parent.
I was getting absolutely no form of support from my ex and he hardly ever contacted the kids. Sometimes when he was back in the same province, he would ask to see them and of course that infuriated me. It made me very angry because of the inconsistency as a Dad.
He was a good dad when he was with our kids but the fact that he could go more than a week and sometimes longer in speaking to them was just something I could not understand.
I started to dislike when I must be reminded that he has a right to see our children when he doesn’t care about them if we are all not living together.
Parenting two children who are 2 years old and 4 years old who are not in full understanding of the situation, is just challenging.
When they see their dad, they want to just be with him. They are babies, is it not natural for them to feel that way? The issue arises when the kids ask for him to be here or think I’m the reason that he is not here anymore.
I eventually felt like I was just stuck in a rut and quite frankly, tired of living like that.
Looking Ahead – The Future
It was at that point that I saw the Robin Banks Introductory Seminar being advertised.
Sitting in the room full of people, I knew I’m going to do the course.
The course was meant to be in April but we were on a nationwide Lockdown.
The course took place via a live webinar during the Lockdown period and I was ever so grateful.
After the course, I also went a bit further, I read: The code of the extraordinary mind by Vishen Lakhani from Mindvalley.
I started reading Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh.
At first, I didn’t know what to expect or what to make of it. As I started to read, it got me in such amazement.
I have become so aware of my thoughts and dismiss the destructive no good internal chatter. I focus on creating a better life for my children and myself.I encourage my children, teach them good values and they get to learn some great affirmations. They also have vision boards in their rooms.
Not every day is just some peachy pretty day. There are days I don’t want to leave my bed just because my body does not want to co-operate and neither does my mind.
I have to make a conscious choice to get up, show up & make it happen (I think the last few words are my moms, it’s imprinted in my subconscious).