No matter what we may face in life, accepting that we are responsible for everything that happens to us is the quite challenging to accept. How could I be responsible for my partner not coming home? I’ve given this person many chances to get it right! Why did he do it again? I have not done anything to damage this relationship , why should I accept responsibility for his wrong doing?
With all of those questions, I had to go through the physical reality of what was happening. I had felt an immense amount of emotions and I felt shattered.
Working things out - Again
My partner wanted another chance to work on our marriage. I just stuck to my word and said no. He persisted and continued to come home and act as though everything was normal. I started to settle in to what felt comfortable. Seeing my children happy to have their parents together made me feel even more that I should just allow this with good intentions and so I did.
There’s one thing I always wanted and that was for trust to be the foundation of my relationship. I had absolutely no reason to trust my partner but always gave him the trust that he would do the right thing. During the time he had been back home, I felt like I was re-living the same moment – deja vu.
I called my mom and just started crying. I said everything is starting to feel like what it used to. The way he would be on the phone, always needing to go out and his choice of work that involved late nights. My mom reassured me that I need to calm down because he hasn’t done anything wrong. Well I did that and shifted my focus. He came home that night.
The next day he leaves home early. I go to my moms place with my kids for lunch. Spoke to him a few times and spoke nicely with the usual “I love you” to end the call. I wait in the evening and he comes home around 22:00.
The choices we make
He wanted to have something to eat, changed into comfortable clothing and said he has to do one more load. I was upset. Eventually I said; I wont tell you what to do. You’re an adult. He said he will be back and I must open the gate for him when he gets back. Before he leaves, he kisses me and says, I love you.
I call around 2:00am and he wasn’t talking properly. I figured that something isn’t right and called him back. He says to me, I’m talking to someone, I’ll call you back and cuts the call quickly. I realized that of course he was not coming back home and was with other type of company.
Know your worthBe strong and Brave
Know your worth and what you deserve
The next morning being Sunday, I dozed off around 6:00am and woke up like 10 minutes later, I woke up in a shock wondering if he came home. Not knowing what condition to expect him in, I was scared. The feelings of fear and anxiety had taken over and I kept checking if he was here.
A relationship that must come to an end
Around 10:00am he comes home and is in his vehicle in the garage. He asks me what happened to his phone and all I wanted was for him to leave. He has betrayed me and broken our family again. That same day I recorded the video which I posted on Youtube.
He had to leave home. I will no longer live in fear or be another statistic in the paper. I made a choice to live a life worth living. No form abuse what so ever.
Everything we go through is an experience. The toughest challenges teach us strength and help us grow. Be the best version of yourself. Know what you want in a relationship and love yourself.
If you know the person that you want to be with is the same person you’re in a relationship, then be kind, caring and loving to your spouse / partner. Take care and nurture your relationships. Love unconditionally & stay true.